From people who have been through it

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them so so I'll just say what happened to me: the kids think he is working away was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok. Not perfect and ok so you will be too, in your own time.”

“To the one just starting this: the first days are the hardest. The silence, the questions. You will learn to live with it. Find one person you can talk to, even if it's just to say nothing. The phone calls will hurt, but they also connect. And your children, they are stronger than you think. They will ask questions. You don't have to have all the answers. Just keep going. The worst is over, and you are still here.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in January. Suing my old employer. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in August. Released in January after 6 years. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are just before Christmas. Custody hearing in March. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in October. Released in January after 6 years. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are after the new year. A halfway house. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“Sorry, this got long. If you're at the start of this, I won't pretend it's easy. The first few months were the worst of my life. But I'm writing this from the other side, and some days now I forget to be sad. A free legal clinic helped me fill in the forms. Go slowly.”

“I'm not going to tell you it's easy. It's not. The paperwork is a nightmare. The bills keep coming. And some days you'll want to curl up and not deal with any of it. But you'll get through. I started with one thing at a time. The gym helps me. Find your one thing. And don't be afraid to ask for help. You're not alone in this.”

“Sorry if this is a lot. To whoever needs this: I was where you are back in the summer. Suing my old employer. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are around Easter. Legal aid refused. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something and it comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are a few months back. The kids think he is working away. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers ater the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in February. A halfway house. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: my kids barely know me was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last month. Suing my old employer. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in November. Legal aid refused. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are back in the summer. The kids think he is working away. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are just before Christmas. Released in January after 6 years. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are two months ago. A court date that keeps moving. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in the spring. Suing my old employer. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last month. The cost of the solicitor. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I'm not going to tell you everything happens for a reason. It doesn't. But you can get through it. I did, and I'm not especially strong. Keep copies of everything. Everything. Praying for strength.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are around Easter. The children think he is working away. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last year. Job applications and the box. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“Para quien empieza con un lío legal: no te prometo que sea rápido. La fecha del juicio se mueve, los abogados cobran, y a veces te dicen que no a la ayuda. Pero no estás sola en esto. Pregunta, llama, insiste. Yo todavía estoy en ello, pero he aprendido que hablar con otros alivia. No dejes que el papeleo te coma. Y si puedes, ten a mano una planta o algo que cuidar, para recordar que la vida sigue.”

“I know you're scared and the letters keep coming. I've been there, hiding the post, lying about why the phone rang. What helped me was telling one person, just one, and asking for help with the paperwork. The debt charity lady didn't judge me. She just made a list. Start with one letter. One call. That's all. You're not a bad person for struggling. You're just a person who needs a hand. And you can do this, even when it feels impossible.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are six weeks ago. My husband got 4 years. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I think I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: my husband got 4 years was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are six weeks ago. The kids think he is working away. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“Please be gentle with yourself. I wasn't, and it made everything harder. Legal aid said no first time, I appealed and got it. And talk to someone, even if it's just in here.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in the autumn. Suing my old employer. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in the autumn. Legal aid refused. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in October. Phone calls that cut off. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“Para el que empieza: no te voy a decir que es fácil. La calle es dura, la gente desconfía. Pero hay que buscarle. Yo encontré trabajo con mi hermano, y un taller de redes. No es lo mismo, pero es algo. Habla con alguien, no te guardes todo. Y busca una cosa pequeña que te guste, como mis rosas. Eso te sostiene.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are four months ago. The kids think he is working away. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: job applications and the box was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are back in the summer. Released in January after 6 years. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last year. The kids think he is working away. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“If you're at the start of this, I won't pretend it's easy. The first few months were the worst of my life. But I'm writing this from the other side, and some days now I forget to be sad. Legal aid said no first time, I appealed and got it. Go slowly.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in October so released in January after 6 years and today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something so it comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I'm not going to tell you everything happens for a reason. It doesn't. But you can get through it. I did, and I'm not especially strong. A free legal clinic helped me fill in the forms.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last spring. A halway house. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are back in the summer. The kids think he is working away so today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something so it comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“Sorry, this got long. To whoever needs this: I was where you are last month. Legal aid refused. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in May. My kids barely know me. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“Si estás empezando una batalla legal, te digo una cosa: no dejes de abrir las cartas, aunque duela. Yo lo hice y ahora estoy peor. Busca ayuda donde puedas, aunque te digan que no. Y no te olvides de tus hijos, ellos necesitan verte fuerte, aunque por dentro estés temblando.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are after the new year. Job applications and the box. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It coems back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I thikn the thing that helped most was other people who'd been there. So here I am. Message me if you want, I mean it.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in May so phone calls that cut off, today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in the spring. Probation every week. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in October. Money on his books. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are around Easter. Legal aid refused. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“Cuando tu ser querido entra en prisión, todo se vuelve confuso y doloroso. Habrá días en que no puedas más. Busca apoyo en otros que han pasado por esto. Infórmate sobre tus derechos. Y no olvides que tú también necesitas cuidarte. No estás solo.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in August. The kids think he is working away. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are at the start of the year. Money on his books. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last year. My kids barely know me. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I'm not going to tell you it's easy. It's not. The first few months out, everything feels like a test you're failing. The box on the job application is real, and it stings every time. But you don't have to do it alone. Find one person who gets it, maybe from a meeting, maybe a counselor. Keep going to meetings even when you don't want to. And take the small wins where you can. I'm still figuring it out, but I'm still here. That counts for something.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: a halfway house was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“Please be gentle with yourself. I wasn't, and it made everything harder. Keep copies of everything. Everything. And talk to someone, even if it's just in here.”

“The first weeks are strange. Everything is admin and waiting. Go to the appointments, keep the paperwork, say yes when someone offers you work even if it is small. People will treat you like you are only the box on the form. You are not. Take the cinema on the cheap nights if you can, it got me through. The kids take time and you cannot rush them.”