From people who have been through it

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: telling his parents was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time. Praying for strength.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: the kids every other weekend was my lowest point. A year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are at the start of the year. She says it meant nothing. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are at the start of the year. Five years together. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are three weeks ago. Mediation next month. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold. Keeping faith.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last month. Mediation next month. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“If you're at the start of this, I won't pretend it's easy. The first few months were the worst of my life. But I'm writing this from the other side, and some days now I foregt to be sad. I went to counselling on my own and it helped me more than couples counselling did. Go slowly.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last month. Five years together. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I was sure I'd never feel normal again. I was wrong. No contact was the only thing that workde for me. Keep going, even slowly.”

“If you're at the start of this, I won't pretend it's easy and the first few months were the worst of my life so but I'm writing this from the other side, and some days now I forget to be sad, mediation was awful but better than court, for us so go slowly.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in March. We had a dog together. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are at the start of the year. Seeing her with someone on Instagram. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“when it first happens you'll want to lie on the floor and stay there. that's okay. the dishes will pile up. you'll check if he's online. you'll replay every conversation. it's not pathetic. it's just how it goes. i'm two months in and i still do it. but i also went to the corner shop today and the uncle asked about him and i said we broke up and my voice only shook a little. so. that's something. take the small wins. and let your friends drag you into dumb games at night. it helps more than you'd think”

“If you are at the start of this, one thing. You do not have to answer anyone today. Sit with the lamp off, put the phone face down, that is allowed. The first thing that came back for me was small, a cake for a neighbour, a walk to the corner, saying good morning to a guard. Not big. When someone calls and the phone feels like a brick, let it ring, then maybe message them one word. That word is enough for now. It gets less heavy. Not all at once, but it does.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last month. An affair with a colleague. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“to whoever needs this: I was where you are last spring. he left by text. today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. it comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“Please be gentel with yourself. I wasn't, and it made everything harder. Try not to make big decisions on the worst days. I learned that the hard way. And talk to someone, even if it's just in here.”

“If you're at the start of this, I won't pretend it's easy, the first few months were the worst of my life. But I'm writing this from the other side, and some days now I forget to be sad so lean on whoever offers, even if it's awkward, people want to help, go slowly.”

“Please be gentle with yourself, I wasn't, and it made everything harder. Routine saved me so same time up, same walk, same tea, and talk to someone, even if it's just in here.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are three weeks ago. The kids do not know. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in January. Mediation next month. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them and so I'll just say what happened to me: five years together was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok, not perfect. Ok so you will be too, in your own time.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in the autumn. Engaged in March, single in June. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“dear you, I know it feels like the end of everything right now. I have been there. The text, the flat, the playlist you cannot listen to. It is okay to cry in the factory toilet. It is okay to feel like a fraud. But please know that you are not. You are just hurt. And it will not last forever. I am not going to tell you to be strong because you already are. Just take it one hour at a time. And play your guitar badly if it helps. It helped me.”

“I know you just found out and it feels like your whole world just got ripped up. I'm not going to tell you it's going to be fine because right now it's not. But you will sleep again. You will stop checking his phone. I still check sometimes, and it's crap. But it gets less. Find one person who will listen without judging. And if you can't sleep, put on a K-drama. It helps a little. I'm sorry this happened to you.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in August so telling his parents. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I'm not going to tell you everything happens for a reason. It doesn't. But you can get through it. I did, and I'm not especially strong. What helped me was writing evreything down before appointments, otherwise I forget it all.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in the autumn. His new girlfriend already. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: a lawyer's bill was my lowest point. A year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“It is hard when the person you trusted hurts you. You will feel angry, sad, and confused, maybe all at once. That is normal. Take your time. You do not have to decide anything today. If you can, talk to someone you trust. For me, it was my friend Faisal. He did not try to fix it, he just listened. And prayer helped me when I could not think straight. You will survive this, even if it does not feel like it now.”

“If you're at the start of this, I won't pretend it's easy. The first few months were the worst of my life. But I'm writing this from the other side, and some days now I forget to be sad. I made a list of the bad stuff so I'd stop romanticising it. Go slowly.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are six weeks ago. Selling the house. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: seeing her with someone on Instagram was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok. Not perfect and ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“I don't have much wisdom yet. What I know is that the sofa won't be forever, even when it feels like it. Take the help people offer you, even the small stuff. Write down what you need to ask your lawyer so you don't forget when you're on the phone. And try to find one thing that's still yours, just yours. For me it's the chickens. I go sit out back with them in the morning before everything gets loud again.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are after the new year. The children every other weekend. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: engaged in March, single in June was my lowest point. A year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in March. She told me on a Sunday. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are just before Christmas. Engaged in March, single in June. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are last week. His new girlfriend already. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I'm not going to tell you everything happens for a reason. It doesn't. But you can get through it. I did, and I'm not especially strong. No contact was the only thing that worked for me.”

“If you're at the start of this, I won't pretend it's easy. The first few months were the worst of my life. But I'm writing this from the other side, and some days now I forget to be sad. I deleted the photos off my phone and put them on a drive. Not gone, just not in my face. Go slowly. God willing it gets easier.”

“If you are just starting this, I want to tell you that the first weeks are the hardest. I slept on my sister's sofa and cried every night. But you find a rhythm. Get a lawyer if you can, even if it means payment plans. And find one person who will listen without judging. For me, it was my sister. She didn't fix anything, but she made tea and sat with me. You will laugh again. I didn't believe it either, but it happens.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in the summer. Friends picking sides. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“if you're at the start of this, I won't pretend it's easy. the first few months were the worst of my life. but I'm writing this from the other side, and some days now I forget to be sad. what helped me was writing everything down before appointments, otherwise I forget it all. go slowly.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: his new girlfriend already was my lowest point. A year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: he left by text was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time. Praying for strength.”

“To whoevre needs this: I was where you are last spring. Telling my best friend. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in the autumn. A lawyer's bill. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in January. Staying for now. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I remember reading notes like this and not believing them. So I'll just say what happened to me: checking his phone now was my lowest point, and a year later I'm ok. Not perfect. Ok. You will be too, in your own time.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in October. Sleeping on my sister's sofa. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in August. Checking if he is online. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in March. Telling my best friend. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“I'm not going to tell you it's easy, because it's not. The first few weeks I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. I kept checking his Instagram even though it made me feel worse. But it does get better, slowly. Let yourself be sad. Talk to a friend. Go dancing. Get a hobby. Don't rush into anything new. Just take it one day at a time. You will be okay. I'm still working on it, but I believe it.”

“I know you're in the thick of it right now, and it feels like your whole world has been turned upside down. I've been there. The knots in your stomach, the constant replaying of everything in your head. It's hell. But I want you to know that it's possible to get through the day without crying. It's possible to laugh at something your kid says and mean it. It doesn't happen overnight, and it's not a straight line. Some days are still hard. But you will find your footing again. Lean on whoever you can. And be kind to yourself, even when it feels impossible.”

“You will get through the first bit. It feels like everything is on fire but it won't always. Accept help when it's offered, even if you don't want it. I didn't and I regret it. The house stuff is just paperwork, it's not your life. Your life is still there. Take it slow.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are just before Christmas. A lawyer's bill. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“To whoever needs this: I was where you are in the spring. We had a dog together. Today I made breakfast, went to work and laughed at something. It comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“If you're at the start of this, I won't pretend it's easy, the first few months were the worst of my life so but I'm writing this from the other side, and some days now I forget to be sad, routine saved me. Same time up, same walk, same tea. Go slowly.”

“I'm not going to tell you everything happens for a reason, it doesn't, but you can get through it and I did, and I'm not especially strong. Mediation was awful but better than court, for us.”