Parenting a struggling teen support in Netherlands 🇳🇱

“to whoever needs this: i was where you are in august. a friend group i do not trust. last weekend i went to a friend's birthday and stayed till the end. it comes back slowly, like feeling in your fingers after the cold.”

“This time last year I was exactly where you are. The worst part was a friend group I do not trust. Today I went for a walk and didn't cry once. Things come back, slower than you'd like but they do. From someone who gets it.”

“When your teen is struggling, you will feel like you are failing. You are not. The lying and the vaping and the closed door, it is not about you. Keep the small routines. For me it was Sunday hiking. One hour. It doesn't fix anything but it keeps you standing. Ask for help even if you are the one who usually gives it. And when they come out of their room for dinner, just say the food is good. Don't make it a big thing. They will come back when they are ready. In the meantime, you have to keep yourself well.”

“If you're just starting with a teen who won't leave their room, I won't pretend I have the answers. For me, the waiting list felt endless and the exclusion letters kept coming. What helped was finding one other parent who got it. I still drive nights and Nathan still games, but we had a chat last week about nothing much. That was something.”