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For grieving someone who is still here. Talk with people in Vietnam who know what it is like, find help near you, and join the worldwide circle too. Free, always.
Next gathering in the Vietnam circle: Weekly check-in ยท
โIf you're scared right now, I get it. I was right where you are about three years ago. I remember planning a funeral while he watches telly like it was yesterday. Yesterday I booked a holiday. It doesn't stay this heavy. You've got this, even if it doesn't feel like it.โ
โThe first time you forget she was ever different, that's the worst. I won't lie. It doesn't get easier. But you learn to live in the gaps. The crossword still helps. Coffee. The train. Small things. Don't expect anyone to understand. They won't. But you'll find your people. The ones who nod without saying anything. Hold onto them. And hold onto the good days. They come. Even now.โ
โA note for the next person. I was in the same place this time last year. Dad is in palliative care. That was every day. I'm volunteering here now. It comes back so slowly you don't notice until one day you do. One day at a time.โ
โIf you're just starting this, I want to say it's a strange kind of loss. You're grieving someone who is still here. That's allowed. Some days you'll be fine and then a song or a smell will hit you and you'll be back in the car crying. It's not linear. And if you have a sibling who doesn't help, try not to let it eat you up. You can't make them care. Just focus on the time you have. You won't regret being there.โ