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For grief people do not always recognise. Talk with people in Russia who know what it is like, find help near you, and join the worldwide circle too. Free, always.
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โYou won't believe it now, but the day will come when you can think about them without crying. It won't be soon. For me it was months. The nights are the worst, so find someone who's awake. I called a helpline at 2am once and the woman just listened. That helped more than anything. Don't try to be strong for everyone else. Let someone be strong for you. And when her mum texts, answer. Even if it's just an emoji. She's hurting too.โ
โEighteen months ago I was exactly where you are. I remember work gave me one day off like it was yesterday. These days I mostly feel like me. Praying for you.โ
โI'm not going to tell you everything happens for a reason and it doesn't, but you can get through it and I did, and I'm not especially strong so what helped me was writing everything down before appointments, otherwise I forget it all.โ
โDear you, Losing a friend is like losing a part of yourself. I don't have magic words, but I can tell you that it's okay to feel broken for a while. The group might change, and that's hard. Tell people when you can, and don't be afraid to say you're not okay. The numbness from meds might fade, or you might need to try something else. Be patient with yourself. And if you can, find one person who gets it. That helped me.โ